I had one of those deep, almost spiritual, conversations with one of my home based business girlfriends on Friday about how many of us (women) struggle to stay positive when our husbands are not supportive of our home based businesses.
She has also experienced it in her business, and on her team. And in fact, a fight on Friday morning I had with my husband about my business was the catalyst for the conversation in the first place.
I’m guessing it’s the same for the married guys out there to? Do you sometimes have trouble mixing your home based business and marriage too?
The challenges of balancing a home based business and marriage
Being a home based business owner can feel very isolating at times, and it can be hard to keep staying positive, let alone motivated and inspired when our spouses and families don’t feel the same passion about our home based businesses.
It’s not that they are wrong and we are right, or the other way around, but often spouses often have different ways of fulfilling their needs and achieving their goals.
But when tension builds between a home based business and marriage, it can be a very difficult thing to work through, which leads to many, many home based business owners losing their passion and giving up on their home based business goals. I’ve seen several strong business builders give it up because of an unsupportive spouse over the years.
Obviously, marriage and family should come first, because for many (dare I say most?) of us building a home based business, our families and spouse are a huge part of our why, but there are ways to find balance.
After 13 years as a work at home mom, with the last 6 of them in network marketing, I’ve had my practice at developing the skills mixing my home based business and marriage, while staying positive to get through challenging times without losing momentum and focus on my goals, or destroying my relationship with my husband and family.
The biggest times of stress between my home based business and marriage, is when my business is in a huge growth stage. It is at these times in my home based business where the building momentum of growth has taken on a life of it’s own. To me it feels, similar to completing a home remodeling project or something. The house can get a little out of control, and we find ourselves dividing an conquering when it comes to the needs of the kids.
I’ve been in a state of major focus and action in my business for the last 7 months and my husband has been wonderful, helping with the kids and the house so I could stay focused. But we both hit a threshold this past week, where neither one of us felt like our needs were being met and we ended up butting heads.
I was frustrated because I wanted his help (actually his appearance) in a video I was creating for a challenge Ann Sieg was putting out to her leaders’ circle to create a “This is Me” video. The deadline was Saturday and I’d been asking him for many days, for some time to work on the video, and for his input on it.
But the video, wasn’t high on his priority list because he was focused on his heavy stress load at work and feeling resentment about the extra work at home. And after hurtful words were said by both of us, and he left for the day, I spent the morning frustrated and upset, questioning once again, how to find a balance between my home based business and marriage.
After my conversation with my friend, I realized how common these feelings are among us mompreneurs and I was inspired to shift my focus from a “this is me” video to something that could help other work at home moms (and dads) who may be struggling to stay positive and inspired, while keeping a positive mindset about their home based business while swimming in a sea of negativity.
In the video below, I’ll share with you some of the things I do to keep a positive mindset in my home business when I feel like I’m married to negativity. I’ve also created a list for you below of ways my husband and I discussed to balance the needs of our home based business and marriage, and to meet the needs of our family.
I hope that this video helps you, if you sometimes don’t feel very supported in your business by your family and friends. And if you’re in business with your spouse and they’re 100% supportive of what you’re doing, I’m sure that someday one of your business partners, or students may feel this way, and being able to understand what they’re going through could make the difference between losing them as a business partner, and helping them succeed.
Tips for balancing your home based business and marriage:
- Don’t be married to the belief that you are right and your spouse is wrong. There are two sides, always.
- Keep conversations flowing between you and your spouse, about your home based business and marriage needs.
- Set aside some time regularly when you’ll focus only on your spouse and family (unplugged from your computer and phone).
- Help your spouse share in your vision for your business, by taking the time to explain to him/her what it is you do, what your goals are, and share your reasons for wanting to build the business.
- Don’t complain to your spouse about your business.
- Don’t expect your family to be excited about it, to encourage you or make your business their priority.
- Find someone on your team (your up-line, sideline, or someone in another home based business) to share your business challenges and excitement with.
- Build a group, network, mastermind, tribe or something like that to get encouragement and accountability for your home based business goals. Don’t put that pressure on your spouse to provide that for you
- Use your business time wisely; don’t waste it doing unproductive activities like playing on Facebook.
- Set “office hours” so your family knows when you will be off.
- Make a list of priorities in your business, so you can hit the ground running immediately when you’re ready to work, and not have to spend time getting ready to get ready.
- Share your goals with your family and make it about them, not you. What’s in it for them? Will they get to go someplace fun when you earn your company trip? Put pictures on the fridge and let them track your progress.
- If they are interested, allow your family to help in your business, but don’t expect them to.
- Hold true to your word when you say you’re going to be done working at a certain time, be done.
- Reward your family, when they give you time to work on your business, with focused time for them.
All in all, things are so much happier in the Stephens household. The tension is gone, and my husband and I are on the same page as far as my home based business and marriage/family goals. I needed to readjust my expectations and set some better boundaries between my home based business and marriage, and he took the time to ask me again, what it was I am doing online, and how he could help me reach my goals.
Please tweet and share this post if you found value in it. I would love for you to share with me how you find a balance between your home based business and marriage in the comments below.