Decisions Create Our Destiny

Tony Robbins Ted Talk | Decide to Enjoy the Ride!Why does it sometimes feel like success is right there, but just out of reach?

I love roller coasters.  A couple of summers ago on a family trip to 6 flags I tortured my girls with a ride on a roller coaster I loved as a kid.  It is called the Demon and has great loops and cork screws and isn’t anything scary (in my opinion) like the roller coasters of today.

I sat next to my youngest daughter who, at 7 years old, just met the height requirement and my husband and my oldest daughter sat right behind us.  As the ride clicked up the first hill, and my excitement grew, my daughter next to me looked at me with a nervous grin, with both of her skinny little arms wrapped around the harness like a big bear hug.

Down the first hill, I was screaming wa-hoo and laughing before I realized her eyes were filling with tears.  As we headed into the first loop, she started to scream and cry.  I can’t even describe how helpless I felt to comfort her.  My body being thrown around right left, lifted out of my seat and then sucked down into it, I was at the mercy of the forces of gravity and my ability to be the comforting mom was just out of reach.

Here she sat inches away from me, her body pushing into mine around the turns, but I could do nothing but wait until the ride was over.  She survived the ride, and because my daughter was shaking and nauseous we decided to duck indoors for a show.

While waiting for a show to begin a man from the park approached us and spoke to my husband, asking us to meet him outside the building after the show was over.

Turns out our family was chosen to ride in a beautiful old convertible as the parade marshal.  My daughters were given crowns to wear and a big bowl of candy to throw to people in the park, with strict instructions that they were supposed to put some in their pockets too. 🙂

Talk about turning the day around. My daughter still still talks about it every time she sees a white convertible on the road and every time we go to a parade.

Sometimes success in my online business feels like that roller coaster ride to me.  It’s right there next to me but I am caught on this endless spiral of technical challenges, and self imposed limiting beliefs.  I feel like I climb up one hill of success and then lose control as I enter another twist or turn of the next challenge. 🙂

I was on a conference call today with several amazing women who are home based business owners. We were discussing what our target markets were, who we serve, how we serve them and getting clear on what we can produce to help them.

The message underlying the conversation was that we have everything we need to reach our goals and that success is inside of us already.   So why is it that we can’t always see it, the way others can?  And why is it that sometimes it’s hard to do what we know we need to do to reach success?

I was searching on you tube for something related to another post I’m writing, and I came across an amazing TED video with Tony Robbins. It fit so well with my call today that I got goosebumps while I watched it.

In the video Tony Robbins talks about how someone who has every advantage in life can end up spending life in and out of rehab while someone else who has the opposite life of hardship and struggle can end up on top of the world having achieved massive success.

As I’m sure you’ve heard Tony Robbins say before, “Decisions shape our destiny.”

The difference is decision.

    We decide what we focus on

    We decide the meaning we give to those things

    We decide what emotion we feel which creates our action.

This Tony Robbins Video was a Wake-up Call for me Today:

I’ve been caught in one of those roller coaster loops of technical struggles with my videos and server problems and my focus has been on those things until I saw this video today.  I know as I’ve talked before, that I need to spend my time focusing on the things I’m good at instead of focusing on the things I’m not as good at.   But like the roller coaster ride, I feel often like I’m at the mercy of what is happening to me.

I realize that while I can’t control what challenges arrive, I can control how I approach them.  And as the video teaches, it’s a decision to focus on the right things, give the right meaning to things, and create the right emotions that help me take the right actions.

So instead of focusing on the struggles:

  • I’m deciding now to focus on how I am grateful that these challenges are teaching me new things that I can use to help others.
  • I’m deciding to do what I can with what I have, like my decision now to start this blog post even though I’ve only got 20 minutes before I have to leave for our small group meeting and I’ll probably not finish it before I have to leave.
  • I’m deciding that living life as if it were a “beta test” is my mission. Producing positive changes in my life that are less than perfect, but help me make progress,  knowing that I can update them when I know more or have more resources.

Tony Robbin’s Video: TED Talk: Why Do We Do What We Do, and How Do We Do It Better?

I hope that you enjoyed the video and that you know how much I appreciate having you as a reader on my blog.

Think about what you’re focusing on.  If you’re feeling stuck like I have been for the last couple of days, decide to focus on the good.

  • Maybe your challenges will make your success story all the more moving for the people you serve?
  • Maybe your challenges will introduce you to something new you never knew you’d love?
  • Maybe your challenges will bring you into contact with your next best friend or your next business builder?
  • Maybe your challenges will lead you to being the parade marshal and you’ll have the opportunity to make the lives of others a bit sweeter?

Time will tell.  But until then, I hope you decide with me to enjoy the ride for all it’s exciting ups and thrilling downs.


~ Heather

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  1. Sometimes I feel that I can’t control my life, and no matter how hard I try some things don’t want to change. At this point all I can do is to not stress about it, and hopefully I’ll take the right decision.

    • Hi Mia,

      I think a lot of us feel like that at some point. There are always going to be things that are out of our control, but we are in control with how we choose to feel about them.

      Good luck to you! Follow your instincts and I’m sure you’ll make the right decisions!

      Hugs, Heather

  2. An inspiring post, Heather! One of the exhilarating highs on my rollercoaster ride was discovering the CM commenting tribe last week. =) I’ve met some amazing people and am so thankful that you came up with the idea to start these sharing circles.

    The decisions we make and the attitude we take are definitely what we can control in challenging times. I also liked hearing about your conference call because you’re right that we can’t always see success the way others can, but those “others” can often help us along the way. =)

    I’m so glad to have found you and your website. Thanks again. =)

  3. Heather,

    I enjoyed this read. Tony Robbins is such a great stage presence; I had to watch.

    Your closing thoughts/questions resonated with me. Sometimes in my challenges I find new motivation from the encouraging words of others. I’ve also met great new friends during some of my darkest times.

    As difficult as the roller coaster ride can be for us, I know the stories you/we can later share are all the more entertaining.

    I hope you’re enjoying your Sunday…


  4. Hi Heather,

    What an inspiring post! Life is full of ups and downs and we have to deal with them as they come, as you have clearly illustrated.

    Thanks so much for sharing this. I enjoyed your personal story 🙂

    Keep rocking!


  5. Hi Heather,
    LOVE, LOVE, LOVE IT!! This is an amazing article. It kept me tied in all along. I was getting ready for bed, but something told me I needed this, and that something was right. I Loved it!

    I love Tony Robbins.

    I feel like I am on that roller coaster on a daily basis. But I won’t give up. I know that everything that I do gets me that much closer. I do get discouraged, but know that what I’m working towards is right there within my reach.

    I know that it is my decision what I do daily. I can check emails that will not make a difference in my life or I can close the email program and read blogs and learn. I can go to Facebook and see what all of my ‘friends’ are doing or I can read amazing things like this – that empower me.

    This has probably been the best article I have read thus far. I’ve been reading blogs a short time, about two or three months now, but I read 30 a day at a minimum and this is my all time favorite.

    I Love your last 4 Maybe statements too. What an amazing perspective in life. This will free people to love their life.


  6. Heather,

    This was really inspiring. I love the lesson you learned that you can’t control which challenges show up in your life, but you can control how you approach them. This is a timely lesson and I am grateful for the reminder!


  7. Absolutely powerful stuff Heather!

    I love Tony Robbins’ work, and the message shared here is such a powerful one. I also love the example of your daughter, and how she had the opportunity to focus on an awful experience, or a wonderful one.

    We have a lot more power to choose than I think most people realize, and these kind of instances, and the teaching of such people as Tony are great reminders of the impact of our decisions, and our choice to focus in certain ways and direct our destiny deliberately, rather than just being swept along with the tide…

    Thanks so much for sharing.
    Nice to be back at your blog again. I feel like I’ve been AWOL recently!
    Happy Easter to you and your family…

  8. I really enjoyed your personal story … it is very inspiring … life is really so unpredictable. We must develop right thinking! It is important to create a healthy living environment. You are so right that our decisions are always followed by an outcome. Every action we take produces either a positive or negative result (as you said about ups and downs). I like how you gave some very real and relevant instructions in the “decision making process.”

    Thanks for sharing! It was really powerful post!

  9. Hi there,Heather,
    I enjoyed reading this article and I liked the way you compared your online success to a rollercoaster ride. I think it`s just normal way things go.In order for us to climb the top, we first need to be at the ground…and once the top is reached it is hard to stay there…so, you eventually fall down. But then you get back on track and make it an enjoyable ride over and over again. Tony has some good points about decision making-it is certainly of great importance to set our goals and be persistant in order to succeed.