Overcoming the Impostor Syndrome With a Little Help from My Friends

Overcoming Impostor Syndrome With a Little Help from My FriendsAre you ready for a fun and very heartfelt post that will help you overcome the impostor syndrome and push past your limiting beliefs?  Let’s overcome the feeling, that you don’t know enough to be a leader and help others in your network marketing internet business!

I’m going to have to pull in a little help from our friends on this one, but first I want to take a minute and clue you into the concept of the impostor syndrome.

If I had to put it in a phrase, the impostor syndrome is a limiting belief or insecurity that keeps you from sharing what you know because you feel like you might be “found out,” or feel like you’re a fraud, impostor, or you are not as good as you say you are.  It’s very common in women and I’m finding it to be very common in marketers who are not playing a big enough game online because they don’t feel like they know enough.

So, I want to break this down and show you that you absolutely must share what you know and get your brilliance out into the world where it can help others.

My Favorite Impostor Syndrome Busting History Lesson

Let’s travel back in time to another place…a, long, long, time ago for some of us, 10 minutes ago for others. 🙂

Think back to elementary school and remember your favorite teacher.  What made him or her your favorite?

Was it the information they were teaching you? No, that can’t be true because I’m sure that all the teachers in that grade were teaching similar subjects.  I bet it was because they had a teaching style that resonated with you.  A teaching style that matched the way you liked to learn.

Now think about your favorite teacher again.  Did he or she create the information they taught you?  Did they invent math, reading, or science?  No!  They certainly didn’t invent the subjects they taught you.  They took information that they were taught, spiced it up, added their style to it and then taught it to you.

Now, Let’s Relate the Impostor Syndrome to Your Network Marketing Internet Business

Do you think that there is only one person who can teach internet network marketing effectively online?

Do you think that all the internet network marketing strategies or social media strategies being taught online are original?

Of course not, which is one of the reasons that personal branding for network marketers is such an important factor to success online.  The key to being a leader in your niche is to take the information you’ve been taught, spice it up and add your style to it, and then go teach others!

We don’t think “impostor syndrome” when we’re teaching our teammates how to lead and duplicate in their business.  It’s just how network marketing is done…teach someone what you know, and help them go teach someone else.

  1. I present
  2. I present and you’re with me
  3. You present and I’m with you
  4. You present
  5. You present and someone else is with you

You can’t be an impostor even if you tried to.  If you were to share the same business opportunity message verbatim your presentation would still sound completely different from your upline’s because it’s coming from you.  It’s your teaching style, it’s your voice.

And the great thing about this is that your teaching style is going to appeal to people differently than your upline’s style does.  Your online marketing lesson is going to attract different people than mine will.  It doesn’t matter if we both teach on the exact same list building strategy, our style will be completely different and will appeal to different types of people.

Why the impostor syndrome breaks my heart?

Because it’s breaking your bank! It makes me feel so sad when I see people who are doubting themselves, doubting their blog design, wondering what to write about, how to stand out and brand themselves online. And I just want to shake the world and let everyone know that we don’t want duplication in the sense of cloning someone else, we want you and your style.

I hate it when I see someone who has so much potential, so many gifts to share, keeping their knowledge to themselves instead of sharing it with the people who they might be able to help with it.

I had two online friends the other day teach on blog commenting, Ana Hoffman, and Susanna Hess.  They were both completely different posts and I gained value and learned something new from both of them…even though the subject was the same!

You Can Overcome the Impostor Syndrome!
“With a Little Help from My Friends!”

To prove my point, I have gathered a song, originally created by The Beatles, and recreated by countless musicians.  I bet that everyone who reads this post is going to like one version the best, and possibly not like another version.

The lyrics are the same.  The style is not.

The Beatles: With a Little Help from My Friends

Joe Cocker: With a Little Help from My Friends

Bon Jovi: With a Little Help from My Friends

Wet Wet Wet: With a Little Help from My Friends

Sam & Mark: With a Little Help from My Friends

Joe Anderson: With a Little Help from My Friends

So, my friends, will you give me a little help and share this post with others on twitter and facebook?  Will you also please share your thoughts on the post, your feelings on the impostor syndrome, and also include your favorite version of the song “with a little help from my friends?”  You’ll get a little link love as a thank you from me because you’re on a dofollow blog and it will be fun to see which version is the favorite among the group.

My fav is Joe Cocker’s version. It brings back warm and fuzzy feelings of a tv show I loved called The Wonder Years, and it also brings back the fun I had in high-school doing a long report and speech on Woodstock with a couple of my best friends.

My 12 year old daughter loves the version by Sam and Mark and I’ve had the joy of seeing her dancing around the house while it played in the background! LOL

heather c stephens photo signature left Personal Branding for  Network Marketers: Be Unforgettable!

p.s. Please, let’s all banish the impostor syndrome from our minds and share what we know with the world!

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  1. Hi Heather,

    first of all, I didn’t know that there are so many cover version of this song, awesome, thanks for sharing.

    I can totally relate to this subject because I used to sell myself short. I was afraid that people would realize that I was not as good as it seemed – is it that you refer to with the “impostor syndrome” ? I still tend to do that when starting something new.

    The trouble is: If you sell short constantly, your value will decrease after a while because it follows your self-image.

    So it’s important to acknowledge that there is no worse and no better, there is only a “different” which expresses in personal style. I like that: Spice it up and add your style.

    Thanks again for sharing.

    Take care


    • Heather C Stephens says:

      Hi Oliver,

      Yes, you are spot on with regards to what I meant by impostor syndrome. Turns out it’s a real thing and is also called the impostor phenomenon.

      I think we all can have the impostor syndrome insecurities when we’re doing something new, but you are right, if we continue to think that way over time, our value will decrease as our self image decreases. That’s a very good point…thanks so much for adding it!


      • Hi Heather,

        thanks for your feedback. Good to know that I got the main message of your post 🙂

        Take care


  2. Hi Heather,

    Very interesting perspective, but totally true. Each and everyone of us has a unique style to deliver the same message. I myself had been holding back from writing about a certain subject because someone else wrote about it before I got a chance. Plus, I thought they did it so much better than I ever could.

    Kind of “stinkin’ thinkin'” isn’t it? I certainly need to do something about that 😉

    Thanks for pointing that out to me! You ROCK!


    • Heather C Stephens says:

      Hi Ilka,

      By all means, write about your subject! I am sure they didn’t write it so much better than you did! There is so much truth that your way of sharing the information will resonate with different people than theirs did!

      Yea, it is “stinkin thinkin” but we all have it about some things. How cool is it that we can help each other get over our stinkin thinkin by sharing our gifts and knowledge?!?!?

      You ROCK too my friend!


  3. Hi Heather,

    When I first started out in this business I was one of the people that thought I have nothing to share,teach others or a voice that anyone would even want to hear. As I spent more time looking at what others were doing, how they were going about it I realized, I could do this and be successful. I realized that I was not needing to reinvent the “wheel”, I just needed to learn and teach others with my own spin and “spice” on the topic.

    There are many things ( topics, ideas and thoughts) that interest me and I have the ability to learn a new skill and turn around and break it down to very simple terms and help others learn it also. My different way I teach and explain a new skill to people will attract people just as you have a way of teaching will attract other people, our message could be the same but have different results. This is what is so amazing about the digital age that we live in, the ability to learn and reteach with a few keystrokes!

    Teach on! Thank you for the great post !

    • Heather C Stephens says:

      Hi Robert!

      You hit the nail on the head with your comment. Thanks so much for adding your spice to my post.

      You’re very right, we are so lucky to live in this day and time. We literally have the entire world at our fingertips and we can learn virtually anything we’re interested in, find people who like that to, connect with them, share with them, and benefit from the teachings of people who we resonate with the best!

      What a gift we’ve been given! Not teaching it to others would be selfish shame.


  4. Wow Heather, you sure nailed it!

    I think it’s easy to sell yourself short in the beginning. The key is to get over it QUICK!

    I completely agree, and that’s why I’ve talked so much about being unique. It’s so important for each of us to just be ourselves. I mean, I think it’s so important I even brought it up in the video course! lol

    I’m glad you wrote on this topic, and thank you for mentioning my name. I smiled when I saw that Ana and I both posted about commenting the same day, and that they were each SO different! I really enjoyed hers.

    Thanks for a well written post on an important topic. (I also enjoyed seeing the different versions of the song.)


    • Heather C Stephens says:

      Hi Susanna,

      I loved both of your posts and the fact that you wrote on the same topic is what gave me the idea. Thanks for the inspiration. 🙂

      I know that the only way I’ve gotten over the insecure feelings I had in the beginning has been by taking action and a lot of it. Once I got past the first few post, and first few videos, the feedback I received showed me that I was indeed adding value, and since then it’s been something I have enjoyed.

      What an awesome concept that by getting over ourselves, and being ourselves we can help others!

      Thanks for the great comment!

  5. Hey Heather – I love the style of this post – a little wacky but on the money too. Nice analogy. I think that voice (imposter) in our heads – not just those who are delusional! has a power that is frightening.

    Brian Tracy makes the comment that ‘we become what we think about most of the time’ Look at detention centres – monasteries – academic institutions – mlm groups etc and you’ll find that like attracts like and few factors in life impact us more than our ‘chosen’ peer group. Parenthesis because few appreciate that we have more choices in life than we think

    Cheers kiaran

    • Heather C Stephens says:

      Hi Kiaran,

      I love Brian Tracy and I’m familiar with that comment that he makes. You are so right that we have more choices in life than we think.

      A little off topic from the post but when I’m stuck I will often sit down and try to write out 100 possible solutions to my problem. I don’t think I’ve ever gotten to 100, but the act of focusing on solution rather than problem helps me to realize how many more choices I have than what I thought before the exercise. It puts me into a better mindset. 🙂

      Thanks for the comment!


  6. Brilliant Heather…

    I’ve suffered from this in the past and for the most part gotten over it, though occasionally little doubts still appear in the corner of my mind and have to be chased away…

    Love the journey back to elementary school and the whole analogy there… You gave me a real ‘AHA!’ moment… So true!

    My votes have to go to the Beatles with a very close second for Joe Cocker. Great collection though!



    • Heather C Stephens says:

      Hi Jym,

      Thanks for Your comment! Glad to hear the doubts are fading from your belief system! It’s a cool thing to break free of and something that I hope will inspire many who are reading the comments below this post!

      Love the Beatles of course but Joe Cocker brings back the warm and fuzzy feelings for me!

      Thanks so much!

  7. I love “impostor syndrome” phrase and can certainly relate to it as well.

    I think we all feel this way at one point of our lives or another and we can choose to let it bring us down or deal with it.

    I do love your encouragement though, Heather, and love your brilliant incorporation of the song!

    As always, thanks for the mention.

    Ana Hoffman

    • Heather C Stephens says:

      Hi Ana,

      Glad you enjoyed the post! I think we can all relate to having impostor syndrome feelings at points in our life.

      Happy to mention you…I loved that you and Susanna wrote on the same topic but your messages were both great, although very different!

      Thanks for commenting,

  8. That’s a great phrase, and it’s so true too!

    I know that I have felt that way at times but we all have to start somewhere and we have to learn from someone. Your analogy of the favorite teacher is right on target!

    I enjoyed the songs too. What a great way to spice up a post! 🙂


    • Heather C Stephens says:

      Hi Stacy,

      I’m glad the teacher analogy made sense to you. As I was thinking about it I was trying to compare concept to a few different things, but the teacher one made the most sense to me.

      Thanks for your comment! 🙂


  9. Amy Mengarelli says:

    I loved the Wonder Years!

    Thank you for the post. I have been agonizing over my content, branding and the like. I just need to be me!

    • Heather C Stephens says:

      Hi Amy,

      You DO need to just be YOU! I’ve read your blog and you’ve got a great start! Keep up the awesome work and stop agonizing over it…just do it!


  10. Heather,

    A very poignant post! The one thing that I attempt to relay to my new team members, as soon as possible, is that they can build their online business from their past success. In doing so they start with a strong foundation and build from there. This usually eliminates a great deal of the initial trepidation and instills a very positive mindset. 🙂

    • Heather C Stephens says:

      Hi Karen!

      Leveraging our past success is a HUGE way to get moving in our business! Very great point!

      Thanks for sharing it!

  11. Heather,

    I really enjoyed this post because like most people, the thought of this was in my head but only in the beginning.

    If we didn’t take the same material and put our own spin on it then most people would never learn it, right?

    It can take me all week to come up with a new idea based on a summary of information that I researched on a certain topic. I take my titles and how I am going to spin my information very serious to take something that could be boring and spice it up.

    As long as you are providing value to help someone succeed and NOT COPYING IT WORD FOR WORD.

    BTW – my favorite version is Joe Cocker, also love the original Beatles version.

    Thanks for sharing great content as always!!
    Tommy D.

    • Heather C Stephens says:

      Hi Tommy,

      You bring up a great point to keep in mind that this isn’t about copying anything…it’s about learning it, putting it through your life experiences and filtering out the value to share it with others.

      Thanks for pointing that out!


  12. Hi Heather…I think you were primarily talking to me on this post!lol And I thankyou for that push, exactly what I needed!!! Am happy to know there are others who have been in the same boat & have overcome & I choose to be an overcomer as well!! Its so true that different styles of teaching resonate differently with people but also different & unique content has the same effect! I admit I have a fear to get “out there” because of my culture but God is taking that fear away from me, & you are right, if we have valuable content to share & don’t do so, we are being extremely selfish!!

    Just a side note…we used to be neighbors to Joe Cocker so when his name came up in your post we were astounded to say the least!!:) We have been to visit his place & ate at his restaurant (when he still owned it) several times, also we were recipients of his wonderful “Foundation for kids in medical need” when our son had his hands severely burned at 3 years old. (He is 14 now & still undergoing follow up surgeries at Shriners!) Wow, what a small world! Thanks again for an awesome post, love your style of teaching & so happy we resonate so well!!


    • Heather C Stephens says:

      Yes Karlene, I was speaking to you, and me, and everyone else who is building a business online and sometimes faces those “creepy-crawlies” in their stomach when they’re stretching their comfort zone!

      That’s so awesome about Joe Cocker! It’s funny that my post resonated with you through him too. I’m glad for that.

      I’m also glad to have you here sharing your awesome comments and thoughts!

      Talk to you soon,

  13. I like Joe Cockers version the best. Reminds me of The Wonder Years when I was a kid. Good post for sure, a lot of people sell themselves short. But, there is also a lot of the “fake it till you make it” that goes on as well. Those “impostors” can be dangerous to people starting out.

    • Heather C Stephens says:

      Hi Brian,

      I Loved the Wonder Years! I don’t believe in fake-it-till-you-make-it in the sense of pretending to know more than you do. I believe that it’s essential to share information that you know, feel passionate about, and can teach well.

      Even if you don’t know something 100%, sharing that with your audience and sharing what you’re going through is ok too. People love to see a transformation happening. So if you are having a challenge in your business, and you found a solution to get past it, sharing that solution could help someone else.

      It’s important to be honest and authentic in all your marketing. People can spot a fake from miles away. But it’s totally great to be a beginner out there gaining knowledge!

      That’s the purpose of my blog…I’m learning and testing what I learn from other “clever” marketers online, and sharing my experiences and results here!

      Thanks for sharing a different point of view! I genuinely appreciate your comment!


  14. “It makes me feel so sad…doubting themselves, doubting their blog design, wondering what to write about, how to stand out…. And I just want to shake the world and let everyone know that we don’t want duplication…”

    Wait, we haven’t met have we?

    Beautiful that you drive the point home with the vids. ABSOLUTELY loved this. I found you and another blogger, JackB, tonight. The message is blog, show your vulnerability, sans fear. Step out. Just do it. Be YOU.


    BTW, writing this while listening to the Joe Cocker version. For 3rd time. Finished none of the others…. I mean, c’mon. 😉


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