The Me I Want to Be John Ortberg | WAHM Entrepreneurs Journey

The Me I Want to Be | John Ortberg“The Me I Want to Be.”  What do you think about that phrase?  Are you there yet, or do you think about someone who has the essence of you, but only better?

Photo credit: Bakerella via Bakerella.Blogspot.com.

You know who you want to be. We all have moments of wishing we were better at certain things, and as WAHM’s and home based business entrepreneurs, we’re naturally on a mission to become the best versions of ourselves as possible, so that we can grow bigger businesses that help more people, and that provide the lifestyle we desire for our families.

The Me I Want to Be by John Ortberg

I’ve been reading a fantastic book called, The Me I Want to Be, by John Ortberg with my growth group which is really creating significant change in the way I view my work, motherhood, and my personal growth.

It seems like when I’m setting goals, balancing my life as a WAHM and working on growing my business, if feels like I’m frequently focused on the gap between where I am and where I want to be.   How many books have been written on the subject of bridging this gap?  Countless for sure.

But yet, I am drawn to this type of material over and over again, probably because every time I reach a goal, there is something else on my horizon, a desire within me, that draws me farther ahead once again.

The Challenge of Becoming The Me I Want to Be

It is human nature to grow, create, want to achieve more, and be better overall.  But there are some areas in my life where professional and personal growth are harder than others.  It feels like there is something always standing in the way, blocking the bridge to success.

“The only person you are destined to become is the person you decide to be.” Ralph Waldo Emerson (Personally I don’t think that’s the whole story.)

I’ve read the books and quotes, listened to the audios, and attended the seminars–I brought home the t-shirts too–but it doesn’t matter what kind of a high I’m on when I get home, eventually that external motivation wears off.  Trying harder, as John Ortberg says, is not the answer.  We need to try softer.  We can only white knuckle our success for so long before we begin to lose our grip.

I don’t believe secret to success is becoming better or smarter, or more clever than the next guy/gal you’re about to meet.  It’s about being more you; “youier” as John Ortberg says.  Turning up the volume on the things that make you, you.  (We’ve talked about this on the subject of personal branding before!)

The Me I Want to Be has given me a clue, just a glimpse into the things (the me’s) standing in my way.  Let me explain…

So if you’ve played wii you surely have had some fun creating different mii’s.  My kids think this is more fun than many of the games, making different characters with many different features.  Oh, how I wish sometimes that I could just slide the bar and make myself thinner, taller, give myself a new hair-do, or sexier lips. 🙂  The Me I Want to Be | Happy Dance MiiIf only success was that easy too!

Can you imagine, sliding the bar to find your sweet spot?  A little farther to the right to be  a better mom and wife, more creative, a better leader, or a braver and bigger risk taker!  Woo hoo, I’m getting excited already.  Doin’ a Happy Dance!

The Me’s Stainding in the Way of the Me I Want to Be

But  it’s not that easy.  There are Me’s that get in the way of the me I want to be!  (Isn’t that the way it always is?  We’ve got such a knack for getting in our own way, don’t we?)

But we’ve each got several mii’s that play tug-of-war with each other.  There’s the me that is working toward losing weight, and the me that wants to dig into the kid’s Easter candy.  There is the me that wants stretch my comfort zone to grow my business, and the me that fights to remain within my self limiting boundaries.

John Ortberg describes it as, “Inside your soul there is a battle between a flourishing self –the person you were created to be–and a languishing self.”  The book, The Me I Want to Be, takes you on a journey through your spirit,  mind, time, experiences, and relationships in order to help you discover the me you are meant to be.

But like any great adventure of life, there are challenges and obstacles to overcome: The Me I Don’t Want to Be.

John Ortberg talks about several Me’s that get in the way of the me we want to be.  I’m going to run through them here for you and share a little about the me that gets in my own way in my follow up with tomorrow’s post.  I’d love to know in the comments the Me’s that get in your way too 🙂

  • The me I pretend to be.
  • The me I think I should be.
  • The me others want me to be.
  • The me I am afraid God wants me to be.
  • The me that fails to be.

I know you don’t know how John Ortberg describes each of these Me’s yet, but I’d love to hear what you think might be the Me that gets in the way of you being the me you are meant to be.  Here’s the link to The Me You Want to Be, Becoming God’s Best Version of You on amazon if you’re interested in reading it!

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Comments

  1. Hi Heather,

    Wow, this one really resounded with me. I’ve been getting my arm twisted lately by all the Me’s that I’ve been by habit, and the Me’s that it’s easier to be, and the reactionary Me’s that are there by default. Then there’s the Me I want to be, and it’s way up there, and from my vantage point I can’t see a stairwell, or a step ladder, or a tree branch, or even a tattered rope or anything to climb to get where the Me I Want to Be actually is.

    Delena

  2. very nice blog ! thanks a lot for the post.

  3. Oh Heather… Now I’m jumping up and down… and can’t wait to grab my pen and add to the list of Mii’s… ha ha… my kids usually design my Mii’s… it’s amazing how they see me much different than I am… which brings me to the next point.

    The me I see… is much different to the me others see… and this will always be the way it is for all of us I think.

    I have had people say “What??? You think that about YOU??” or “I always think of you when….” … and I think “What… you think that about me???”

    The me I want to be is huge… and scattered. I want to be a perfect mom, a business woman, a savvy, sexier me… but I want to be God’s me too the way he wants me to be… and I am sure I fall short in all of those are as. Did I say Sexier? Sorry that was my inside voice.

    I really want to be a Female Mike Litman, (a little quieter, softer, etc) but firm, kind and smart… and empowering … for the right reasons though. Not in a glutenous greedy way… just a fulfilling motivating way… am I making sense.

    I want to be a person people will be glad to meet because of value and encouragement, but I don’t want to be a pushover. I want my kids to think I am fantastical… they already do apparently… particularly after Mothers day. But for ME… I want to be better.

    I want to be Martha Stewart and have a Zen like house with delectable meals I ‘threw’ together… I want to be the solver of all problems… with ease.

    Want me to go on… there’s more… maybe I’ll do a blog post down the road… ha ha….

    I’m off to put my face on… can’t pick the kids up looking so un-sexy! LOL

    Jayne

  4. Hey Heather,

    Yeah, it’s all about the mii’s. WII fit mii’s always makes me laugh. Whenever I log on, and go on that scale, I always have one eye open, praying that my mii won’t grow big and say “you are obese.”

    My bestfriend gets that all the time and we just laugh every time it say it.

    Hummm, the best me I want to be is a great mom, wife, friend, sister and coach.

    Tisha

  5. First of all, I may just have to read that book! It sounds fantastic.

    One of the Me’s that gets in my way is the me that wants to reward and comfort myself with food. I really am not sure I will ever completely let go of that, though I hope to weigh less than I do now.

    Not much less, though, because I don’t want to eat that much less. But also, I kinda like being soft, curvy, cushiony and voluptuous.

    Sometimes I am afraid of the me I am afraid God wants me to be. I use to be convinced that since it seemed like the worst idea ever, surely God wanted me to be a missionary in some dirtymuddy bizarre-food-eating place crawling with creepy-crawlies and other scariness.

    It was in adulthood that someone convinced me that God was on my side, and actually made us for our purpose, rather than expecting us to go through h-e-double-hockey-sticks to please some impossible-to-please taskmaster.

    Still, I am constantly aware of what I am not or what I think I should be, and I often forget to celebrate what I am.

    *Being more me. Sliding the bar further into what’s already there*

    I love that, Heather, and need to ponder it deeply!!

    Jeanine

  6. Wow Heather, this was such a moving post. I couldn’t figure out at first where you were going with the “Me’s that get in the way of the Me I want to become”. But then you explained it and I was like “AHaaa!”

    The biggest Me that gets in the way of the Me I want to become is the “I’m not good enough Me”, as in I’m not a good enough husband/father/friend, or a good enough marketer, or a good enough blogger, etc.

    Note to self: Pick up a copy of this book!

    Thanks for the recommendation, Heather!

  7. Heather, aloha. No doubt about, Heather, that book is letting your Me or mii emerge. And, no doubt, this post truly struck a responsive chord with Jayne and Jeanine. Probably Jayne started commenting before she even finished reading because I could sure feel her excitement.

    Since I have not ever played with a wii or seen a mii, I am going to let that aspect of your post go. That being said, from what I could tell from the comments, it certainly sounds fun.

    Years ago, Heather, I read a book that explained exactly what you are talking about re the motivation and the high wearing off. The name of the book is “After the Ecstasy, the Laundry.” In it, the author talked about going away for a retreat, feeling you are in perfect alignment and finally, at last, you have it together only to discover that when you go home, it dissipates quite quickly.

    Heather, when we are away from the “real world” it is easy to be “perfect” in every way. What we have to remember to do is rather than feel disappointed in ourselves because we are not as “good” as we were at the seminar, convention, meeting, etc. is to celebrate our incremental improvements which will take as to the real Me.

    The Mes I encountered that were most detrimental to the ‘real” Me were the “shoulds” and what I thought others want Me to be.

    Terrific post, Heather. Kudos to you for putting it out there.

    Best wishes for a terrific week. Aloha. Janet

  8. Hi Heather,

    thanks for sharing this. Sounds like an amazing book.

    I cringe when I hear that we have to learn so many things.

    My take: Rather than learning new things we should unlearn old things that are in our way to our true self. We don’t have to learn how to become a leader, because we already are one and probably were one some time back.

    But we learned to be an obedient pupil or student and an obedient employee waiting for orders.

    We learned to be afraid of mistakes and not to love to learn for the sake of learning and growing.

    So we pinned dark signs on our shining light so nobody can’t the light of our true personality, ourselves included.

    And we try hard to make the light shine brighter while all we have to do is removing the signs that hide the light.

    Removing the signs would be “working softer”, wouldn’t it ?

    Take care

    Oliver

  9. Hi Heather,

    Sounds like a fabulous book! When I was at University I managed a large city bookshop after hours. I never really ever earned any money as by the time pay day came I had always spent it on more books.

    I am staring to feel like it would be good to be back there again so I can just pick up all the great book recommendations I get from people straight way. On second thoughts it is probably a very good idea that I am not back there again! LOL

    Loved this post of course! Yes indeed, so many sides of “me” and how do I get it work so that I don’t feel pulled in a dozen directions trying to get to be the me I want to be?

    I don’t believe we can get it wrong and I also don’t think we will ever get it done. We are here to expand and we have to accept that we are doing a great job exactly where we are.

    Thanks for sharing a thought provoking topic Heather!

    ~Marcus

  10. Hi Heather,

    I remember when I was a dumb kid, my ambition waas to be a “bad guy.” I can’t say why I felt that way. Nobody ever taught me how to be a very bad guy, so I struggled along to reach my goal. The more success I had, the more miserable I got. I realized there’s good reasons to be a good guy. So, I changed my goal, embarking on the mission to make ME a good guy. I learned a lot of things along the way to becoming a good guy, but the bottom line is “Seek first the kingdom of God, and all these things will be added unto you.

    Lou Barba

  11. Heather, I *so* feel that this post needs to be shared and I’ll definitely share and vote for it in all places that I can. This is something that every single person in the world can identify with because it’s hard to even recognize our authentic selves when we’re affected by the world and our incessantly running mind!

    I think I have the hardest time with “the me I think I should be” and “the me others want me to be.” Coming to Peru has helped a bit with the latter because there’s less pressure from family and close friends. People here generally don’t know me well enough to make judgments that I would seriously take into account. But “the me I think I should be” follows me everywhere! =P

    Thanks so much for this inspiring post and for the book recommendation, Heather! I’ll be sure to look into it! =)

  12. I think that most of the time the Me that’s afraid stands in the way of the Me I should be. It takes courage to change your like and become the person you want to be and give up the Me others expect you to be.

    I’m not there yet, but every day i try to be closer to the real Me.

  13. Hey Heather, I love this post! I especially like this word – youier 🙂

    You know, I always wonder why I feel like I’m standing in my own way sometimes. As much as I recite affirmations and keep a (mostly) positive focus, sometimes that “fear” creeps in and I don’t feel like I’m myself.

    I’m so glad you shared with us your thoughts. This just reinforces that I’m not alone in my thoughts nor my journey. However, I wholeheartedly believe that with the mindset we share, along with others here, we will be successful (in whatever way it manifests for us individually)!

    Here’s to being the “ME” we desire to be! *raising my champagne glass*

    ~Kesha